'The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives’ star tells PEOPLE the recent criticism online really 'shook' her
Credit: Michael Buckner/Variety via Getty
NEED TO KNOW
- Jessi Ngatikaura addresses the backlash she has received for recent cosmetic procedures
- “That kinda shook me,” she tells PEOPLE. “The internet is mean”
- The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives star has shared several updates on her procedures online, including a recent video where she said she regretted her lower and upper blepharoplasty
Jessi Ngatikaura is addressing the backlash she received after her recent cosmetic procedure.
Throughout February, the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives star, 33, shared several updates with her cosmetic surgeon about the results of her breast augmentation.
In one clip, posted on Feb. 10, she wrote, “Almost 6 weeks post op and I’m so happy!!” And on Feb. 22, she spoofed Sydney Sweeney’s iconic good jeans/genes quote from her American Eagle advertisement in reference to her recent procedure (“Whatever you say, Queen. 😂🌹♥️” wrote her surgeon.)
But speaking to PEOPLE ahead of Mormon Wives season 4, Ngatikaura admits that the social media content she shared about the procedure garnered much more “hate and backlash” than she was expecting.
“That kinda shook me,” says the reality TV star. “I don't think I'm ever gonna get things done again — I'm done — but I also don't think I would share it if I did because the internet is so mean.”
Why share her cosmetic procedures at all — especially if it will open her up to criticism?
Credit: Vivien Killilea/Getty
“I'm such an open book that I just can't not share my life,” the MomTok member tells PEOPLE. “I'm so used to it.”
And for cosmetic procedures specifically, she adds, “it would be hard not to share” — given the recovery process and the way her appearance has changed over the years she’s been in the spotlight.
Ngatikaura says she’s also gotten better at coping with online harassment, recalling a time when she met and took a photo with a fan in person, only to find out that the same fan had been sending her “mean messages” online for weeks.
“Clearly she doesn't hate me that much, right?” says the Utah native, laughing. “So I just have to remember that in the fantasy world of our phones, they don't see me as a person — they see me as a character.”
In a post shared to her Instagram on March 5, Ngatikaura continued to get vulnerable about the criticism she has received about her cosmetic procedures, admitting that she “didn’t quite know” what she was "getting into" with her latest surgery — a lower and upper blepharoplasty — and merely listened to her surgeon’s “suggestion.”
“I really wish I would have asked more questions,” she said in the video. “I wish I wouldn't have done it. I wish I would have said no.”
Ngatikaura added that, as she and the rest of the Mormon Wives cast film the fifth season of their hit reality show, she feels that she looks “f- – -ing hideous” as she recovers from the procedure.
“My face is swollen. My eyes look crazy. I don't look like how I used to, and I hate it,” she admitted to her followers. "And I'm very self-conscious.”
Continued Ngatikaura: “It's ruined my career in a sense because I don't feel comfortable doing anything. I don't feel comfortable taking opportunities —but I have to. I'm trying to push past it.”
Credit: Robin L Marshall/Getty
Ngatikaura has previously opened up about cosmetic procedures, getting candid with her followers in January while reflecting on a recent facial surgery. The internet personality — who admitted she was still swollen from the procedure — said that the healing process had “really messed” with her.
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Even though she knew the results wouldn’t be final in the immediate aftermath of the procedure, she continued, it still felt "like an identity crisis when you look in the mirror and you don't look like yourself."
"I have done a video of my recovery process of what my face looked like the first few weeks, and it is terrifying," she said. "I'm honestly debating posting it cause I know I'm gonna get a lot of hate, but I also want people to, like, know what to expect."
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