A woman who still lives at home with her parents — but pays room and board — says she doesn’t think she should have to fork over rent while she watches their pets for six weeks.
The 23-year-old PhD student, who detailed her dilemma on the popular Reddit forum “Am I the A——” on Feb. 28, explained that she currently lives with her parents and their 10-month-old puppy and two cats.
“I have been giving them $100 a week in board for a few years,” she wrote, adding, “I mostly pay for my own food, and my parents own the house and have no debts.” She also shared that while she is receiving a paid scholarship, “it’s not much money at all and I am restricted in the hours I’m allowed to work outside the PhD in order to continue to receive the scholarship.”
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The Redditor said things have become “pretty bad” for her at home, as her relationship with her father has grown “quite hostile.” Because of this, she actively plans to move out soon. However, she noted that she has been waiting until after her parents go on a planned six-week vacation as “I promised I’d stay and look after everything while they were gone.”
The original poster (OP) went on to share that she asked her parents if she could forgo paying her usual $100 per week while they are away on their trip since she would be taking care of their animals, keeping the house clean and watering “all of the gardens.” She said her mother immediately agreed, but her father was “quiet and didn’t say anything” — which the OP explained he does when he is angry.
The woman recalled that she overheard her parents fighting about the situation the following day. She heard her mother point out that paying for a real house sitter would cost them a “fortune,” while her father countered with, “Who’s paying for the electricity?”
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She said she ultimately spoke directly to her father about his objections and argued that she is doing him a favor — to which he responded, “You aren’t doing anything for me,” before walking away.
The Redditor said she was “absolutely gobsmacked” by her dad’s reaction, and now she’s wondering if she’s in the wrong “for refusing to pay board while they are away.”
In the comments section, opinions were divided. Some people firmly stated that they don’t think the OP is at fault.
“NTA [not the a——]. You’re providing a housekeeping service that would cost more than the money you’d typically give. If [your dad] wants you to do favors for free, you should be able to live in the house for free,” one commenter wrote.
“Nta. But I would suggest telling dad he’s 100% right. Tell him you will pay him the $100 but… you will not maintain the yard OR take care of the pets. So he will need to board them. After all, ’you aren’t doing anything for me,’ “ someone else chimed in.
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However, others were of the opinion that the OP seems unappreciative and unaware of just how much her parents have done for her — with one person specifically noting that the OP seems to think that her parents having “no debt” means she is entitled to pay less.
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“Them owing money or not has no bearing on what you pay in rent,” the commenter wrote, adding, “You’re unable to recognize the massive opportunities you have had with them massively subsidizing your life.”
“Parents being financially stable doesn’t obligate them to provide housing indefinitely for an adult,” someone else added.
“You realize rent is like 3 times what you’re paying your parents right now? Not including utilities. Have you pulled up Zillow recently?” yet another commenter wrote.
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