- Yasmeen Messrie’s father was 50 when she was born
- Despite the misconception that having older parents can mean having less time together, Messrie believes the quality of parenting matters more
- Her experience has now influenced her own approach to parenting her two children
In a viral TikTok, 33-year-old Yasmeen Messrie shares her unique experience of growing up with parents significantly older than those of her peers.
Her father was 50 years old when she was born, which created an age gap that shaped her childhood and continues to influence her life today. Reflecting on her early years, Messrie says she didn’t truly consider the ages of her parents until she was in grade school.
“When I was really young, I thought it was normal,” Messrie exclusively tells PEOPLE. “It hit when I was in grade two or three and I could see a physical, visible difference between my friends’ parents and my dad and my mom.”
“My dad looks visibly older,” she continues. “He looked like he was my grandfather at the time, and my friends’ parents looked like they were in their 30s and 40s — they looked young and healthy.”
As Messrie entered her teenage years, the challenges of having older parents became more pronounced. High school brought a series of medical issues for her parents, including surgeries and chronic conditions like diabetes and high blood pressure. Messrie and her three siblings often found themselves regularly visiting doctors and hospitals. Her mom died when she was 19.
Despite these challenges, Messrie highlights several advantages to having older parents. She describes them as calmer and more emotionally mature, which she believes stems from their life experiences. “Their temperament is a lot more relaxed,” she notes. “I am what you consider a young parent. I had my kids when I was 25 and 27, and I feel like I was going through a lot at the same time as having kids.”
Yasmeen Messrie
“So my kids would see the emotional roller coaster of having your own life changes and having kids at the same time,” Messrie continues, adding, “whereas for my parents … there were no massive life changes happening for them.”
While Messrie is unsure of their exact motivations for having children later in life, her parents “married late,” she shares. “My mom got married in her 30s, and my dad was in his 40s, and back then in Afghanistan where they’re from it was quite late to be having kids and getting married — they were also much more into their careers and education.”
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As her father ages, Messrie finds herself taking on a caretaker role. “I’ve always felt like he was frail and fragile since I was young, and so I’ve always had this extra feeling of worry and protection over him,” she shares. This sense of responsibility led her to move her father in with her when he could no longer live alone. Eventually, he required 24/7 care and was placed in a nursing home.
The experience of growing up with older parents has influenced Messrie’s approach to parenting and her own health. “It’s very important to me that my kids don’t have to deal with medical things with me the way I had to deal with it,” she explains. “I try to be a very high energy mom, because I didn’t really get that from my parents because of their age and lifestyle.”
Yasmeen Messrie
Despite the struggles of having older parents, Messrie remembers what’s been most important in her life: her mom and dad were great parents. “It doesn’t matter how old you are when you have kids,” she shares. “It matters what kind of parent you are while you have them.”
Through sharing her story, Messrie hopes to encourage those considering parenthood later in life.
“As long as you’re going to be a loving, genuinely caring parent, it really shouldn’t matter how old you are when you have kids,” she says.
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