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- A “skinny” woman said she liked her husband’s 70-lb. weight gain, explaining that he now “has a belly and butt, which I’m into”
- But when he opened up to her about feeling self-conscious, she told him she was “into bigger bellies,” which made him upset
- In a post to Reddit’s AITA forum, commenters told her she may have had good intentions, but her word choice was “poor”
A self-described fitness enthusiast accidentally insulted her husband when she says she meant to compliment him after his weight gain — by saying “I like having a lil more to grab on to” — and the internet agreed that he was right to be mad.
In a post to Reddit’s AITA forum — where posters share real-world scenarios and question their behavior — a woman, 30, explained that she’s “always been into staying fit and working out, it’s just my hobby.”
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Her husband, 31, was also ”super into” fitness when they got married; She explained he was “super built which I loved.” But, she shared, since they had children and he moved to a “desk job,” he now has “put on a big beer belly.”
She shared that he used to weigh 180 lbs., and is now 250 lbs. “Here’s the thing, I don’t hate it, I love it,” she wrote. “It’s comfy and warm and I like having a lil more to grab on to. He’s still handsome still has really big arms he just has a belly and butt, which I’m into.”
But when her husband shared that “he felt bad that he’s heavy and I’m skinny,” her reply didn’t comfort him. “I told him I’m ‘into bigger bellies.’ Now I realize that sounds mean but I didn’t mean it like that. I was tired. But he got mad and is still hurt so how should I apologize?”
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When she asked if she was the a—— in the situation, Redditors replied with a resounding yes — explaining that regardless of the sentiment, the way she phrased it was hurtful.
“Poor choice of words. Could have said you found his dad body attractive instead of big bellies. I doubt you meant any harm from it,” wrote one Redditor. ”But basically telling him he has a big belly after he said he didn’t like his weight is more idiotic than anything.”
Another shared, “Your heart was in the right place. ‘I think you look good’ would have likely landed better than what you said, which in his head was acknowledging that he’s fat.”
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“There are FAR more eloquent ways to say you like how he looks without saying ‘I’m into bigger bellies,’ wrote another commenter, who added, “Good grief!”
Still, some softened their critique of her comments; As one Redditor wrote, “You definitely could’ve been more tactful but your intent wasn’t malicious at all. I’d go back and explain to him that no matter how he looks you find him attractive and if getting fit makes him feel better about himself then to do it. You’re gonna find him sexy regardless.”
She took the comments to heart, and shared in an update, “I just told him that I didn’t mean it like that and that whether he wants to keep his dad bod or lose it that I always will find him extremely attractive (true) and I’m sorry.”
She continued: “He said he feels better [about things] … and that he just felt a little hurt. But he also said he feels a lil more confident now that I expressed my emotions.”
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