"It's just beautiful seeing them together," Tamika Felder tells PEOPLE of the relationship her son has with his biological twin brothers
Credit: Elyse Cosgrove
NEED TO KNOW
- In November 2022, Tamika Felder, who overcame cervical cancer, welcomed her son after another family donated frozen embryos
- Now, their friendship is even stronger, and their sons are being raised as “cousins”
- “I call it our version of Modern Family,” says the proud mom
More than three years after a cervical cancer survivor welcomed her baby with the help of a couple’s donated embryos, the friendship between the two families has grown in ways they couldn’t have imagined.
“For us, it really is… we're family,” Tamika Felder tells PEOPLE of the connection that she and her husband, Rocky Campbell, share with Ginny and Sean Marable, whose generous gift resulted in the birth of Tamika and Rocky's son, Chayton, in November 2022.
“I call it our version of Modern Family,” says Felder, whose son is a full-blooded sibling to the Marables’ 5-year-old twin boys, Emmett and Grant. “It definitely is a role model in how you can create your own family unit.”
Felder says her family — which includes Campbell’s adult daughter, Zakiya — became complete after Chayton was born.
“I just can't imagine my life without him,” says Felder of her now-3-year-old son.
In 2001, when Felder was just 25 years old, she feared her chances of becoming a mom were ruined when she was diagnosed with cervical cancer and had to have a hysterectomy before she was able to undergo fertility treatment options. The surgery was necessary to save her life, but still, Felder felt as if her career and personal aspirations were exploding around her.
“I did all the things to get where I wanted in my very young career,” says Felder, who was working as a broadcast journalist at the time, “and then this comes in, and the bottom drops out.”
After she went into remission, in 2005, Felder founded Cervivor, an organization for cervical cancer patients. Though it was difficult to share her story, Felder found purpose in advocacy, but she still longed to become a mother.
In the spring of 2021, Felder received an unexpected call from Ginny, who learned about her story through the organization.
At the time, Ginny, a fellow cervical cancer survivor, had just welcomed her sons and though the two women had never met — Ginny lived in Oregon and Felder was based in Maryland — the new mom offered to give Felder embryos that she was able to freeze before her own hysterectomy in 2017.
"My saving grace in my devastating diagnosis was the ability to preserve our fertility," Ginny previously told PEOPLE of the joint decision she made with her husband. "Tamika was denied the opportunity to do the same. Sean and I talked about it, and he was very open to the idea of donating our embryos to them, given all that she had done for the community."
Credit: Danielle Finney
After Felder overcame her surprise — and tears of happiness — she and her husband decided to move forward with the pregnancy via a surrogate.
That fall, baby Chayton was born, and as she waited for her baby to arrive, Ginny remained one of Felder's biggest supporters.
“She's one of the first people that I told when we had a heartbeat,” says Felder. “When he was born, she was one of the first people that we called.”
Credit: Elyse Cosgrove
Even though Chayton and the Marables’ two boys are growing up on opposite sides of the country, their moms text often. The families also meet up about twice a year — and make a point to pose for an annual photo shoot.
“We're raising the boys as cousins,” says Felder, adding that the boys will choose if they want to refer to each other as “brother” in the future.
She says her son shares her love for the family and that he enjoys hanging out with the older twins.
“It's crazy seeing them because then you kind of see some of the similarities, but you also see where they're different,” adds the proud mom. “It's just beautiful seeing them together.”
Credit: Danielle Finney
Although Felder admits that raising a toddler at 50 comes with challenges, as does being a Black mom to a biracial son, she refuses to let social perception and biases tamp down her joy, even when she gets mistaken for her child’s nanny or grandmother.
“I'm in a much better place because now we're three years in, but it stings and it hurts,” says Felder. “And it's one of those things like, ‘Why can't I just be his mom?’ And it's something that I'm still navigating.”
Credit: Elyse Cosgrove
Despite these painful interactions, the happiness Chayton brings to Felder and Campbell’s world has been immeasurable. The toddler often travels with her when she’s on national and global speaking tours — and she’s surrounded by a “village” of support.
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Chayton is incredibly smart, his proud mom says, adding that he also loves family dance parties, meeting people and animals — and is already dreaming of becoming a pilot.
As for her favorite moments with her baby, well, it doesn't get much better than bedtime.
“He gave me all these kisses and he thinks it's funny. He laughs about it,” Felder remembers of one recent interaction while putting her son to bed. When she instructed her son to go to sleep, he responded: “I love you.”
“I'm a better person because of Chayton,” says Felder, who was already striving to make a positive impact before the birth of her son. “Because I know he's going to be here, I'm really going to try to leave it better.”
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