A pregnant woman has found herself in a heated dispute with her dad after rejecting a gift bought by her stepmom.
Writing on Reddit’s popular “Am I the A——?” forum, the mom-to-be explained that her father and his girlfriend were left upset after she refused what she deemed to be an inappropriate gift.
The woman said she is expecting her first child in February and her entire family is “very excited” because it will be the first grandchild in the family.
She added that she has an “okay relationship” with her father’s girlfriend, whom she gave the pseudonym Lena.
“I don’t like most of the things she likes and vice versa,” the woman wrote. “There’s no bad blood between us, but she can be a bit pushy sometimes, so we’re not exactly close.”
A major difference between them is that she isn’t as big a fan of influencer culture as Lena. Since becoming pregnant, she said her stepmom has been sending her posts by influencers about motherhood – one of which inspired the offending gift.
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“A few months ago, one of her favorite influencers gave birth and filmed the whole thing,” the expecting mother explained. “She posted a cutesy, poorly edited video of the baby being born and her entire family watching from outside the delivery room, with country music playing in the background. Lena sent me that video, and I remember telling her I’d never do something like that.”
When Christmas rolled around, Lena gave her an envelope that contained a videographer’s business card and said she planned on hiring them to film her birth. The gift surprised the woman as she didn’t want her birth filmed and didn’t want anybody except her husband with her at the hospital.
As the woman was at a family function, she thanked Lena for the card and moved on.
Her and her husband mentioned the gift later while at lunch with Lena and her father, during which she told them she “appreciated the gesture” but “didn’t feel comfortable with a videographer” at her birth.
The pregnant woman told Lena that she didn’t need to get her another Christmas gift, but she would “appreciate it if she didn’t hire” the videographer.
Lena and her father were allegedly offended by her adversity to the gift and it sparked an argument.
When Lena started to cry and accuse her of passing “on the opportunity of creating such a ‘beautiful memento’ of my child’s birth,” the pregnant woman replied that she found the idea to be “creepy and invasive and that this wasn’t the first time I expressed I was uncomfortable with it.”
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The woman said it was her father’s reaction that shocked her the most.
“My father said that it was rude of me to say that and refuse the gift, and he’s ‘very disappointed’ in me,” she wrote. “My husband agrees with me, as does pretty much my whole family. I don’t really think I did anything wrong, but my father’s reaction is freaking me out.”
In the comments section, Reddit users sided with the pregnant woman and said it’s her decision to decide how to document her baby’s birth.
“Birth is a deeply personal experience, and you’ve been clear about your boundaries,” one person wrote. “Lena’s gift ignored that and it’s not rude to say no to something invasive. Your comfort and privacy come first, not her feelings,” they added.
Another advised the woman not to let Lena and her dad know when she goes into labor. “I can see Lena whipping out her phone, and if your dad don’t got your back during a moment that is purely yours and your husband’s, then he can wait outside too,” they wrote.
The pregnant woman responded, saying she doesn’t plan on telling them until after the baby is born.
A third person suggested that they use the videographer to record the baby’s first birthday instead, to which the poster said she’d be “perfectly fine” with that plan.
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