"I worry that I’ve just wasted so much time hating who I am," the singer said
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NEED TO KNOW
- On Jay Shetty’s podcast, Noah Kahan opened up about his struggles with body dysmorphia and mental health
- The Hurt Somebody singer said he worries that he spent a lot of time “hating” who he is as a person
- He explained that these negative feelings often make him feel “lonely”
Noah Kahan is getting real about his struggles with body dysmorphia and mental health.
On the April 6 episode of On Purpose with Jay Shetty, Kahan, 29, said he struggles with self-image and worries about the negative aspects of his life.
"I worry that I’ve just wasted so much time hating who I am," he said.
"Like I wake up and I’m like, ‘Why do I feel like s–t?’ I’m pissed. It's a beautiful morning. The birds are f—ing chirping. It’s beautiful outside. Career success aside, I have this lovely little life and I wish I could wake up and not be miserable for no reason, it feels like, sometimes," Kahan added. "Being aware of those moments that I just can’t feel connected, it's really lonely."
Kahan noted he would often feel this way and would just have to "wade through it every day."
The Hurt Somebody singer explained that his issues with body dysmorphia — a mental health disorder that disrupts how you see and feel about your own body and appearance, according to the Cleveland Clinic — aren't any better. Kahan talks a bit about this in his upcoming Netflix documentary, Out of Body, which he says was "hard" to watch.
"It really came out in the documentary, and watching that back is like, even my mom was just like, I had no idea," he said. "I think she knew I had something like that, but she didn’t know how much it was affecting me, and even just seeing myself, I'm like, I don't feel like that right now, but I do feel like that a lot and it’s hard when the thing that you really compartmentalize and you lock away is now there."
Kahan noted that it's even "scary" for him to talk about the disorder because he doesn't want to misrepresent how terrible it can be.
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"It’s just this thing that is there within me. And yeah, really difficult concept because it’s so tied up in who you are and the feelings you’ve had since you were a kid that it’s hard to describe the body dysmorphia problem succinctly. It’s complicated, man," he said.
However, thanks to his music, Kahan has found a great outlet for dealing with those issues. He says the reaction that he got to his song "Shape of My Shadow," which is about body dysmorphia, made him realize how important it is to talk about his struggles.
"These people coming up and saying [my song 'Shape of My Shadow' was helpful to them,] that to me was like, this is important," he said. "This is something really, really difficult to articulate and to talk about and the fact that I just had three people that probably wouldn’t have said anything to me if I never played that song come up and say, ‘Hey dude, thank you’ or ‘I get that,’ that’s huge. It was really special."
If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, The Alliance for Eating Disorders provides a fully-staffed helpline at 1-866-662-1235, as well as free, therapist-led support groups.
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health challenges, emotional distress, substance use problems, or just needs to talk, call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org 24/7.
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