A man who recently purchased his first home says he’s in a sticky situation because his parents have asked if they can move in with him, and he doesn’t want them to.
In a post on Reddit’s “AITAH” (which stands for “Am I the A——), the 34-year-old man asked the online community if he was in the wrong for not allowing his parents to live in his new home.
The man explained that he “recently bought my first home after years of hard work and saving.”
“It’s a modest but beautiful house in a quiet neighborhood, and I’m incredibly proud of achieving this milestone,” he said, adding that his parents are “both in their late 60s” and “currently live in a rented apartment.”
Although he said that his parents aren’t “struggling financially,” they have “expressed concerns about retirement and wanting a more stable living arrangement.”
And he added that shortly after he announced his purchase, “they approached me with the idea of moving in with me.”
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However, although the man said that he loves his parents and respects “everything they’ve done for me,” he said that he had to be honest and tell them he “wanted this house to be my personal space.”
“I’ve lived with them most of my life, and I was looking forward to having my independence,” he added. The conversation didn’t go so well.
“They accused me of being ungrateful, reminding me that they sacrificed a lot to support me through college and early adulthood,” the Redditor wrote. “They even suggested that I owe it to them to give back now that I’m in a better financial position.”
The man said that some members of his family also weighed in — and they agreed with his parents.
“I tried explaining that while I’m happy to help them in other ways, like assisting with rent or finding a better place for them, I’m not ready to share my home,” he added, noting that he was actually “starting to feel like I might actually be selfish for saying no.”
For the most part, his fellow Redditors didn’t agree with that assessment and came to his defense.
“The minute you allow them into your home they will try to go back to the parent/child relationship and try to control every aspect,” a person replied. “Don’t do it.”
“Your desire for independence and personal space is valid, and you shouldn’t feel obligated to give that up, even for your parents,” added another, while a third wrote that so long as his parents are healthy, “this boundary doesn’t need to be crossed yet.”
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