Man and New Partner Seek to Reduce His Child Support After Having More Kids, but Ex-Wife Says Their Finances ‘Aren’t My Problem’

Co-parenting after divorce is rarely simple, as conflicting expectations, new partners and financial pressure can turn already delicate arrangements into constant sources of tension.

For one Reddit user, her relationship challenges didn’t end with her marriage – if anything, they escalated dramatically after her ex-husband built a new family.

In the post, the mother of three explained that her marriage ended after years of imbalance. While she worked full-time and handled “all of the cooking, cleaning, household and kid management, he just worked and sometimes did yard work.”

Though she tried to communicate her concerns, nothing changed, and he refused therapy. Eventually, she decided to leave, saying she would “rather have 3 kids than 4.”

After the divorce, her ex-husband accepted limited custody every other weekend and paid substantial child support without arguing.

However, only a few months later, he announced his engagement to a new woman, who is 16 years his junior, and revealed that they were expecting a baby.

Over time, the household expanded to include yet another child, as well as his new wife’s older child.

The Reddit user noted that her own children “do not like being at their father’s house,” especially due to tensions involving the new wife and her son from a previous relationship. Still, she tries to “only speak positively” about their father and his wife to her children.

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Meanwhile, the Reddit user’s life moved in a healthier direction when an old friend returned to town. Their friendship turned into romance, and she eventually remarried.

As she described, the environment in their home is “quite happy,” with her new husband loving the kids and the kids thriving in return.

However, the strain with her ex intensified when he and his wife sued for 50/50 custody shortly after their second baby was born.

She believed it was solely so they could “pay less child support,” not to become more involved parents.

Nevertheless, the court denied their request, child support increased and financial frustrations grew.

“A few months later I got a huge promotion and now make quite a bit more than him, but unless he goes back to court they won’t change the amount he owes,” she wrote. “It’s not my responsibility to do that, plus in our state you can only ask for a recalculation every two years so they can’t for another year anyways.”

Their frustrations came to a head when the new wife confronted the Reddit user at her eldest child’s sports game.

“She said that they’re struggling and she knows we don’t need the child support, and asked me to please consider her kids,” she recalled.

The poster, however, replied that the money “wasn’t for me, it was for the kids from their father, and her kids were not my problem.” She also noted that her ex’s new wife “currently doesn’t work,” suggesting that “if they are struggling financially she’s more than welcome to get a job.”

Still, she was left wondering if telling the woman that “her kids weren’t my responsibility” was a bit too far.

However, any guilt she felt evaporated after receiving a final message from the new wife: “if you refuse to pay us back the money he’s FORCED to give you the least you can do is have your husband adopt him so he can sign away his rights.”

She forwarded the message to her lawyer, blocked the new wife, and summed up the experience with a sigh: “God I’ll never forgive him for making me interact with this woman.”