A woman says her first pregnancy might derail her sister’s original wedding plans.
The 40-year-old woman shared in a post on Reddit’s popular “Am I The A——” forum that her older sister, 50, is planning to get married in a destination wedding in November 2025 — which is when she would be in her third trimester of her pregnancy and unable to travel.
Her older sister also designated her maid of honor for the ceremony, which means that she would need to be present for a majority of the pre-wedding events and play a large role in the ceremony itself.
She shared that her sister had a few other options for maid of honor, including her “two adult daughters from a previous relationship” who “could easily step into the role.” So it wouldn’t be that difficult to replace her.
The maid of honor noted in her post that while her sister already wed her groom in a small civil ceremony “in May of last year,” the November date is when the “big church” ceremony and “reception date” was scheduled. She also said that it would be her sister’s first wedding.
However, the 40-year-old woman noted things are a bit more complicated than meets the eye, as she also wanted to wait to tell her sister about the pregnancy until April. She further explained that she was “considered a geriatric high-risk pregnancy” and wanted to wait to share the news until after her first trimester “just in case things go awry.”
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She said that she “wasn’t really prepared yet for the positive pregnancy,” as she had previously been diagnosed with “endometriosis” and was “about to go to an endocrinologist for IVF treatments.”
She then inquired whether she was wrong for waiting until April to inform her sister about her pregnancy and that she wouldn’t be able to fulfill her maid of honor duties.
Several people in the comments suggested that she tell her sister as soon as possible so that she could make other arrangements. One person wrote, “If you are close enough where she wants you to be her MOH, you need to tell her you can’t.”
She also suggested that if the woman can’t be there in person, she could FaceTime in so she doesn’t miss anything important at the nuptials. Another chimed in, “By waiting two months, that’s a quarter of her planning time gone. You don’t have to make an announcement to everyone yet, but you can let your sister know.”
Another chimed in, “You could tell your sister now and ask her to keep it a secret [for] you [and] wait ’til April. I’m sure your sister will be thrilled for you and understanding that it would be too risky for you to travel.”
This response prompted the Redditor to say that she was “definitely not trying to hurt her or her feelings“ and wants “to support her planning regardless of outcome.. Just not being able to physically being there.”
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