How Did JFK Jr. and Carolyn Bessette Keep Their Wedding a Secret?

Carolyn Bessette and John F. Kennedy Jr. used a codename when talking about their wedding

NEED TO KNOW

• John F. Kennedy Jr. and Carolyn Bessette married on Sept. 21, 1996, on Cumberland Island, Ga.
• The couple invited approximately 40 guests and kept the details top-secret
• They had a covert name for their wedding and didn’t tell friends until a few days before

John F. Kennedy Jr. and Carolyn Bessette were one of the most famous couples of the 1990s, but they successfully pulled off a secret and intimate wedding.

JFK Jr. and Bessette invited only 40 of their closest friends and family members to witness them exchange vows at the First African Baptist Church on Cumberland Island, Ga., on Sept. 21, 1996. JFK Jr. — who was the son of the late President John F. Kennedy and first lady Jackie Kennedy Onassis — initially proposed to Bessette over the Fourth of July in 1995.

Per PEOPLE editor-at-large Liz McNeil and JFK Jr.'s former assistant RoseMarie Terenzio's 2024 book JFK Jr.: An Intimate Oral Biography, he asked Bessette to marry her while they were on a boat. However, while accounts vary, one close friend of JFK Jr.'s told People in 2017, she waited "about three weeks" to say yes.

After she agreed, the couple privately worked together to plan their intimate nuptials. They didn't hire a wedding planner and instead embraced "the skill of James Bond and the whole CIA" in terms of secrecy, Letitia Baldrige, former White House chief of staff to Jackie, previously told PEOPLE.

Here's everything to know about how John F. Kennedy Jr. and Carolyn Bessette pulled off their secret 1996 wedding.

When and where did Bessette and JFK Jr. get married?

Bessette and JFK Jr. got married at the First African Baptist Church on the quiet Cumberland Island, about one mile off the coast of Georgia. The church, which was built in 1893, had just eight wooden pews and no electricity or air conditioning, PEOPLE reported at the time.

They exchanged vows in front of the people closest to them around sunset on Sept. 21, 1996. After tying the knot, the couple celebrated with a reception at the adjacent historic Greyfield Inn — a nine-bedroom mansion owned by family friend Gogo Ferguson.

"They couldn't have chosen a more obscure place," Chris McLean, a builder living in nearby Fernandina Beach, Fla., told PEOPLE at the time of their wedding.

Newton Sikes, chief of operations for the National Park Service on the island, told The New York Times at the time, "If Mr. Kennedy wanted privacy, this was a good place to find it."

In addition to the venue offering a unique sense of isolation, it was also a meaningful place for both Bessette and JFK Jr. McNeil and Terenzio wrote in their book that the couple looked at other venues — including the Kennedy compound in Hyannis, Mass., and Nova Scotia — but they picked Cumberland Island after Bessette visited and "fell in love with it."

"John just thought, 'As long as it’s on Cumberland, it’s going to be amazing,' " Terenzio shared. He also had a familial connection to the church.

Ferguson said, "One of my cousins had told him a story that when Robert Kennedy was shot, Beulah Alberty, who was the deacon of the church, came racing down to tell everyone around the island. And the entire island gathered, and they had a service in that church for Bobby."

The inn owner continued, "That really meant something to him. That’s why, when I was like, 'Couldn’t you just get married on the dunes or at the Greyfield compound?' he insisted on the church."

Who did JFK Jr. and Bessette invite to their wedding?

In order to maintain their privacy, Bessette and JFK Jr. limited their guests to approximately 35 to 40 of their closest friends and family. Some of the guests who attended the wedding included JFK Jr.'s sister, Caroline Kennedy and her husband, Edwin Schlossberg, and their three children. Rose and Tatiana were flower girls, while Jack was the ring bearer.

His cousin and friend, the late Anthony Radziwill, served as his best man. His wife, Carole Radziwill, was also there. They also invited Jackie's longtime companion, Maurice Tempelsman, who also designed Bessette's engagement ring.

"It was a very simple wedding — there was no extravagant band or orchestra or catering," Carole recalled in 2019, per the Daily Dish.

Bessette's family, including sisters Lisa and Lauren Bessette, brother-in-law Michael Roman and mom Ann Messina Freeman, were also present for the nuptials.

Rev. Charles J. O’Byrne, a longtime friend to the Kennedy family, officiated the wedding.

"When he asked me to officiate his wedding, that was a total surprise to me. I was sworn to secrecy obviously," O’Byrne said in McNeil and Terenzio's book. "I said I’d be honored. I’d love to."

What did they tell their guests ahead of the nuptials?

While some of JFK Jr. and Bessette's closest confidantes knew the two were planning on getting married, "almost no one knew" when or where they'd be tying the knot.

The couple gave their guests just five days notice to arrange for travel accommodations, The New York Times reported. However, even then, several people didn't know where they were headed.

Billy Noonan, one of JFK Jr.'s childhood friends, recalled boarding a private plane that JFK Jr. and Bessette paid for and organized. At the time, they thought they were headed to Jacksonville, Fla.

“We knew we were going to a wedding but we didn’t know where,” Noonan said in the 2019 TLC docuseries JFK Jr. and Carolyn’s Wedding: The Lost Tapes. "John said, ‘We’re not really going to Florida,’ so we had no idea where we were (ultimately) headed."

Once they had disembarked, guests were transported to the venue via boats to the Greyfield Inn's private dock.

How did Bessette and JFK Jr. pull off the private wedding?

Even though they were hosting their wedding on a secluded island and only inviting their inner circle, Bessette and JFK Jr. still meticulously planned every detail to ensure they had as much privacy as possible.

Bessette and JFK Jr. rarely spoke about it with anyone else. Terenzio recalled that if they had to say something outside of their immediate circle, they referred to it as "Nicole Miller’s wedding."

When it came to the caterers and staff members at the Cumberland Island venue, they all had to sign confidentiality agreements. Some of the higher-up people involved with the wedding couldn't even talk about it on the phone out of fear that they'd be overheard.

Another way that the couple prioritized privacy was by hiring an employee at Greyfield Inn to secretly obtain a marriage licence and then send a county clerk and the couple in two private planes. Bessette reportedly asked operator Mary Jo Ferguson to meet with chief clerk, Shirley Wise, at a private airport, where she'd be waiting in a plane.

"About the fifth or sixth question, the application asks the designated surname after the ceremony," Wise recalled to The New York Times. "At the point she told me it would be Bessette-Kennedy is when I realized that it was John Kennedy. Carolyn asked us on the airplane to please keep it quiet, that they had gone to great lengths."

Although the few local residents started to notice that something major was happening in their small community, they still weren't totally sure who was involved.

"It was beautiful. I mean that one photograph of them standing at the altar — so beautiful," Ferguson, the owner of the Greyfield Inn, said in An Intimate Oral Biography. "Everyone was very quiet inside the church. We were all in the moment and just joyous at the end."

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