Her Boyfriend Says She Can’t Work New Year’s Shift. She Says It’s Not His Call. Now Their Relationship Is on the Rocks

A woman turned to the Reddit community for advice following a disagreement with her boyfriend over working New Year’s at her new job.

After a difficult year marked by illness and unemployment, she questioned whether choosing work made her a bad partner.

“I recently started a new casual job as a bartender after being unemployed for about 6 months due to illness,” she explained. She shared that returning to work felt meaningful after finally feeling healthy again.

She said the job quickly became a positive part of her life, especially because of the environment. “Everyone I work with is kind, supportive, and we all get along really well,” she wrote, noting how much that support meant after her challenging year.

Because the bar stayed open on public holidays, scheduling conflicts were unavoidable. “Since I’m new, I personally don’t feel it’s fair for me to book off all the holidays,” she explained, emphasizing respect for coworkers.

She added that she already had some time off secured. “I already have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off, but I’ll most likely be working New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day,” she said.

Her boyfriend strongly disagreed with her decision. “Every time I mention that I’ll probably be working New Year’s, he straight up says things like ‘no, you’re not working those days,’ ” she wrote.

She felt frustrated by how the conversation unfolded. She explained that his response made it seem “as if it’s not my decision,” which left her feeling dismissed.

At first, she tried to calmly explain her reasoning. “I tried explaining that I don’t think it’s fair to my coworkers and that I want to be a good team member,” she shared.

When those explanations didn’t help, she chose to disengage. “After he kept getting upset, I honestly just stopped engaging and avoided the conversation,” she wrote.

“We’ve been together for 3 years and have spent every Christmas and New Year’s together so far,” she explained.

Still, she felt New Year’s itself wasn’t especially important to her. “New Year’s has never been a huge deal to me personally,” she said.

She explained that she valued “being back at work after being sick,” and didn’t want to risk her standing.

As the holiday approached, the tension grew. “Now that New Year’s is getting closer, I know I can’t avoid the conversation anymore,” she admitted.

That pressure led her to second-guess herself. She wrote that she was “starting to question myself and wonder if I’m being a bad girlfriend.”

She ultimately asked the community for perspective. “Am I in the wrong here?” she asked in her post.

Commenters overwhelmingly supported her choice. One wrote, “It’s normal in a new job, especially when you have not been there 1 year, to work those days.” That commenter also expressed surprise at her schedule. “I am surprise[d] you even got Christmas time,” they added.

Another commenter acknowledged the emotional side of the issue. “I understand that this is a tradition between you and your partner and that he’s upset,” they wrote.

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Still, they felt the conflict was manageable. “He can still enjoy New Year’s Eve with family or friends,” the commenter explained.

They also praised her fairness at work. “I actually think your attitude to fairly split holiday shifts with co-workers is a nice thing to do,” they said.

Others echoed that her decision was reasonable. “Many workplaces require people to work on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, or New Year’s Eve,” the commenter added.