Father Says He’s Left Doing ‘Everything’ After His Son Refuses to Help a Woman He Got Pregnant During One-Night Stand

A man says his 19-year-old son got a young woman pregnant during a one-night stand but refuses to take any real responsibility for his actions.

The man detailed the situation on a forum on Mumsnet.com, a U.K.-based community site where people can go to seek input and advice on a variety of issues. In his post, the man said that his son met a girl at a party a number of months back. They only saw each other for a “single weekend,” but she is “now pregnant.”

The original poster (OP) said that his son began dating another girl shortly after the fling — but before he knew the mother-to-be was pregnant — and he has now been seriously dating the other woman for about three months. He additionally said that his son “becomes very withdrawn” at any mention of the mother-to-be or their future baby.

The man went on to share that his son and the mom-to-be come from very different backgrounds and life experiences.

“Where my son has led a charmed life, the girl has not. She’s had a tough series of life experiences that had resulted in her being put into [foster] care, all through no fault of her own,” he explained.

“I really like her. She’s smart, tenacious and fiercely independent,” the man continued, adding that he and his wife have built “a solid relationship” with her since they learned of the pregnancy. He also said that he and his wife invited the young woman to come stay with them for the remainder of her pregnancy.

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“She was [doing] very poorly during the later stages of her pregnancy and my wife and I stepped in to ensure she was properly taken care of,” he explained.

However, the OP said his son is less than thrilled about the new development.

“He struggles to talk to her and I think is very intimidated by both her and the situation. [He was] vocal about being uncomfortable that she’s staying at our house,” he said.

The man said he is now having “big arguments” with his son about the situation.

“I really want him to rise to the challenge, but he’s not being emotionally available or supportive,” he said, adding, “His current girlfriend is quite needy [and] I believe she is behind some of his reluctance to engage [as he fears] it will be the end of their relationship.”

“How do I get him to take an interest?” the OP asked, adding that his son does not attend any doctor’s appointments with the mom-to-be, nor has he “saved any money” to help.

“I fear he’s happy to sit back and let my wife and I do everything whilst he hides at his girlfriend’s,” he continued.

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“I’d really welcome any advice on this, as I’m increasingly really worried,” the OP said at the end of his post.

Several commenters said that they’d use tough love on their child if they were in the OP’s shoes.

“I’d be so disappointed in my son in this circumstance. In fact, I’d probably ask him to move out and ask the young woman to move in. That way, you can be there to support her and the baby,” one person said.

“I’d be telling my son to find somewhere else to live as his room will soon be going to his child,” said someone else.

“You and your wife are absolutely brilliant — well done you both,” said someone else. “I don’t have any concrete advice except to keep modeling what you want to see, behavior-wise, from him. He is very young and green, but you’re right, he needs to step up.”