Expert Says Duggars’ Response to Sibling Sex Abuse Could Have ‘Escalated’ the Problem (Exclusive)

Jim Bob and Michelle's decision not to send oldest son Josh to therapy after he abused his sisters was a 'red flag' that preceded son Joseph Duggar's arrest for sex abuse, a trauma therapist says

NEED TO KNOW

• After learning their son Josh abused his sisters two decades ago, Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar chose to send him to a Christian training center rather than therapy. That decision might have allowed abuse to fester, an expert claims
• Joseph Duggar’s arrest on child sex abuse charges could be part of a harmful family pattern, says trauma therapist Shari Botwin
• Victims and perpetrators of sibling sexual abuse can heal with proper long-term treatment, she says

More than two decades ago, when Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar learned their oldest son Josh had been sexually molesting his younger sisters, the couple sent him to a church program rather than therapy.

"Right there, red flags go up," says Shari Botwin, a Philadelphia-area trauma therapist and author of Stolen Childhoods: Thriving After Abuse, of the Duggars' decision to send Josh, then a teen and now 38, to a training center run by the Institute in Basic Life Principles, a conservative Christian group. The IBLP is a controversial sect followed by the reality megafamily, who were made famous by their hit TLC show 19 Kids and Counting.

For three months, Josh prayed, performed manual labor and received "lust" counseling instead of professional therapy.

Botwin believes that in such situations, "the parents' lack of acknowledgement, not reporting, sending him away" sets up a harmful environment: "As soon as somebody says something happened to them within the family, unless the parents and all those involved get into intensive long-term therapy, the patterns are going to repeat."

In 2022, Josh Duggar was sentenced to 12 years in prison for possessing child sex abuse material.

The arrest of Josh's younger brother Joseph, 31, on child molestation charges could be part of that same pattern, says Botwin, who's been in practice as a licensed clinical social worker for 30 years.

Botwin says when a family is confronted with one sibling sexually abusing another, it's not uncommon for parents to minimize the abuse. "It's a defense mechanism. It's so complicated when it's your kid. A lot of times families want to mask or cover it up. It can rip families apart."

But, when that happens, "not only does the abuse continue and escalate, but it also leads to more PTSD, depression, anxiety, mental health issues. And not just for the victim, not just for the perpetrator, but also for the parents."

Sending a child away won't fix the situation. "Whether you're the perpetrator or the victim, you don't work through that stuff in three months and then come home like nothing ever happened. In that case it's going to keep happening. You can't break generational abuse or abuse within a family unless you deal with it appropriately."

The conservative Christian system in which the Duggars were raised could cover up — and exacerbate — such problems, she says.

"Kids growing up in these environments, they don't understand. You're not allowed to talk about sex. A lot of times they don't even know that they're being abused, because they were never taught. They know something is wrong, but there's silence, secrecy, shame," Botwin says. "Sometimes teenagers are perpetrating sibling abuse as a way to say, 'I'm confused. Why is this happening in my body? I need to feel control.' Abuse is not about sex, it's about power and control. It's also a way to act on the feeling without having to talk about it."

Addressing the problem and healing is possible, she says. "People can heal from anything no matter how bad it is, if they're willing to sit down and talk about it. I've seen siblings sit down in a room and talk openly about what happened between them. It's not just one conversation, but open, ongoing family therapy that takes place over the course of years."

If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual abuse, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.

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