Allison Holker Boss is opening up for the first time about a traumatic time in her past.
Ahead of the release of her memoir This Far: My Story of Love, Loss, and Embracing the Light, the So You Think You Can Dance? alum, 36, sat down for an all-new, soul-baring interview with The Jamie Kern Lima Show.
“I wanted to ask you, in your book, you talk about at the age of 17, you experienced something you say was so traumatizing, that it touched every part of your life,” host Jamie Kern Lima said to her guest.
Courtesy of The Jamie Kern Lima Show
“I had experienced my first time really feeling like I’d been taken advantage of,” Holker Boss explained.
She hinted that the alleged abuse came from within the “dance community,” seemingly feeling as though her “joy of life” and “energy of wanting to constantly learn” put her in a compromising position.
“I had some, some, you know, older man really take advantage of the vulnerability that women go through, especially in the dance community,” Holker Boss said. “Where we look up to our teachers and we just trust them, and dance can be very physical. It can be very sexual, even at a young age.”
“It tore me apart for a lot of years,” Holker Boss said, thinking she was the one to blame.
“I felt like it was my fault because how could it have gotten to that place? I must have done something wrong and I felt so much shame in who I was,” she told Kern Lima, 47.
Courtesy of The Jamie Kern Lima Show
“And I was so embarrassed. And to this day, it’s one of those things — Man, if I would have just spoken out for myself, maybe I could have built myself back up and helped other young girls, too, to not let that happen,” Holker Boss continued.
She admitted that her healing process took “so many years” before she no longer felt shame, adding, “And I’m proud of myself now.”
The Emmy-nominated performer recalled not sticking up for herself in the past, explaining that becoming a mother changed things for her.
“I blamed myself for years, for myself when I had my daughter, I realized that I need to build her up to like if anything ever happened to her,” the mother of three said.
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The dancer admitted that she struggled with whether she wanted to include her story in her memoir.
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“Not because I didn’t want to be honest, but just it’s a lot emotionally to put something like that out there,” she said.
“But then I realized that was kind of the beginning of me becoming so independent and strong and realizing that I won’t ever let someone take anything else from me ever again.”
Holker Boss shares son Maddox Laurel Boss, 8, and daughter Zaia Boss, 5, with her late husband Stephen “tWitch” Boss. She also has a daughter, Weslie Renae Fowler, 16, from a previous relationship. When Holker Boss and the late Ellen DeGeneres Show DJ married, he adopted Weslie.
This Far: My Story of Love, Loss, and Embracing the Light will be released on Feb. 4 from Harper Select and is available for preorder now, wherever books are sold.
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, please contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or go to rainn.org.
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